Though I couldn't change anything about the first two events and feeling powerless about it, I failed in avoiding the third one, even though I clearly saw it coming. My mom and I were way to hurt to be able to handle each other... Luckily, we resumed communication shortly after and I am positive we will be good again soon.
For a few days, upon returning to Moscow from the funeral I was in a dark place. I was still social, the girls still made me smile, I kept on running, but I kept on having this nagging question wonder in my mind: "What is the point of it all?". And nothing seem to matter as much as it mattered before.
I went for a run by myself one day, then took a really cold shower and realized that I have to do something about it, right away, before I get even deeper down, where I've not been before and don't want to. So, with support of unbelievably understanding husband, bless him, I escaped for a bit.
and now on the road again...